try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
