dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
