Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
