this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
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I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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