dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
