Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
