i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize