I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize