I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
