you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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