oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize