reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
