we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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