We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
