"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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