i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
