You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
