and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
