you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
