I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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