low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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