Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
