They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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