btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
