How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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