Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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