i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize