Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
