We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
