ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
