she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
