We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
