then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
