the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
