why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
