I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
