I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
