Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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