Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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