As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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