O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
