We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize