Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
