let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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