Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
