Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
