I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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