When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
