i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
