Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
