My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
