Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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