you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I am naked and annoyed.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
