dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
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They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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